A second in God's peace

Prerequisite for understanding the following post: Read the previous post about SURRENDER

Have you ever experienced the feeling that arises when you realize God is speaking to you? I am honored to share that I have had this experience. It is greater than anything my mortal mind can even begin to explain but I will attempt it. In a split second you feel a thousand pound weight lifted off of your shoulders, you feel this light gleaming into your soul, and in that moment, if only for a second you feel peace. For me that moment doesn't come too often but that one second is enough to restore my hope for healing.

Last night one of these beautifully clarifying moments occurred. Wednesday I attend a "small group" that has turned out to be more like a "small church." This in and of itself is greatly anxiety provoking for me (almost to the point of panic at times) but each week I keep coming back to face it again because my God, who creates a thirst for him and a thirst for Godly relationships within me,  is greater than the enemy that plants lies and fear as chains upon my feet. So just as every Wednesday I enter the house and greet people that I recognize and try to not show and struggles within. I had been feeling a bit defeated and sad that day. Here is where is gets amazing, we gather in for worship and a leader starts us off with a few words and prayer. The words that God had placed on his heart as a focus for the night were surrender and listen.  There it is! That moment when God says to you, " I hear your prayers. I see your heart. I know your every desire. I know you are in pain and I want to help you...." And greatest of all he whispers... "I am greater than all of this and I am with you." 

The word that had been heavy on my heart and mind did not just happen to be the opening word for the night. God knew that there were people in that group of individuals who needed to hear it. It didn't stop there. As we continued to worship I continued to feel God's presence and his touch on everyone there. I sang out loud the lyrics that DIDN'T "just so happen" to be what  my prayer to the Lord needed to be.Tears came to my eyes and I was not ashamed. The realization that God is with me and he is always with me nearly had me fallen to my knees. In closing we were instructed to seek out someone to pray with while the worship continued in the background. The sounds of that room were heavenly and powerful. Groups of people everywhere huddled together in deep prayer to our Father with the sweet sounds of worship in the background.
No science, philosophy, religion, or even "psychic time traveler" can convince me that last night wasn't real! No one can convince me that all of it is just the product of coincidence mixed with fabricated human emotions. No one can convince me that I am here today by chance and not by the Lord Jesus Christ's sweet salvation.


Starting a 30 day challenge of complete surrender to God
Please pray for me!


Laura Katherine

What am I surrendering to?

Surrender: to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.


The word surrender connotes different associations. We can surrender when a task is too trying. We can give up in the face of adversity. However, one may also think of a deeper meaning to the word. Sometimes surrender may be simply giving up to bad... but surrender can also be a turning over to good.  Surrender doesn't have to mean weak. Surrender can also be of the utmost strength. 

 I started thinking about war movies and such things in which one side surrenders to the other. The side that has been completely trampled over,striped of all essential resources, and lies broken and wounded.... that is the side that waves the white flag first. The reach a place of such desperation that they can't carry on any longer. 

This sounds familiar to me in a number of ways. Familiar in that I have been in this hopeless place and have wanted to give up. End it. Trow in the towel. Surrender myself. There are times when the walls close in and blind me from any outside light. Times when I have surrendered to lies from the enemy and taken them on like leeches upon my skin. However, there are different ways of surrendering. At times surrendering can be the only way of moving forward. Surrendering not to darkness but to the light. Surrendering to God. 

Over and over throughout the past week or so I've been hit on the head with the knowledge that surrendering to God is the only way. I have been all of the places that tend to lead to a form of surrender... wounds, hurt, depression, sadness, shame, exhausted and the list goes on. I have surrendered in a lot of way at different points in time. I have even had moments where I imitated the act of surrendering to God. Moments where I found myself so broken and desperate for healing that I allowed God into my life and I began letting go to parts of the eating disorder. Through my journey I have been saved and drawing closer and closer to God. I have come a markedly far from the lost girl "living" in worship of an eating disorder yet I am realizing that I have yet to completely surrender all of the eating disorder and all other strongholds of my life.  I have let go of some things but grasped tightly onto others.... so tightly that I stop acknowledging their existence all together. I allow these rules and beliefs rule over my life and pollute my mind. I hold on so tightly that I lock the key and allow NO ONE to see. I have given God full reigns over parts of my life and I have began to look to and trust him in many aspects yet when it comes to these certain locked strongholds I don't seek him or trust him. I am ashamed to write that out and consciously own it. 

God knows my heart, even the things I hide away from even myself. He knows and desperately wants to heal but he is waiting on me. The truth is starting to unveil in front of me but what will I do with it? Will I continue to hide and protect these strongholds or will I step out in faith? Will I surrender to darkness? Will I surrender to the light? 


That's it for now. 


- Laura Katherine 


"Growth demands a temporary surrender of security."


"Love is an attempt at penetrating another being, but it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual."

"Unless you have made a complete surrender and are doing his will it will avail you nothing if you've reformed a thousand times and have your name on fifty church records."


"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. " James 4:7