Create

Create. When I hear the word create, the first thing that cognates in my mind is art. Art comes in a broad variety of forms. From the paintings of Van Gogh, the compositions of Mozart, the elegance and beauty of the New York City Ballet, all the way down to the precious finger-paintings, saved from when we were about 6 years old. I believe that all art is valuable and deserves respect. When a person creates, it isn't just paint on canvas. I believe artist tell stories through their work. Each and every creation is created via passion. One persons trash may be another's treasure. Creations come from the heart. My insight regarding art, leads me to approach all art forms with an open mind. Who am I to judge another's passion? I spend day in and day out hating my body. Most days I want to crawl out of my skin. Recently, I had a revelation. God is the ultimate artist. He created the waters, forest, and all living creatures. Then God created man and woman to rule over the earth. He created them in his image... (Genesis 1:27) When I repeat hateful words to myself day after day, I am also hating God's creation. He created everyone of us for a purpose. From our hair to our toes, God made us perfectly in his own image. He wants us to Love him with all of our heart, soul, and mind. How can I do so when I feel such hatred towards my body and some days myself? The unloving words in my head, can not be words of God but only words of evil. The torturous, diseased thoughts playing in my head telling me that I am never good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, strong enough, worth enough... those are all strongholds of evil. Trying to kill me. Mind.Body.Spirit. God is greater than ALL of these. I am fighting daily to seek the Lord for all of my needs, instead of the eating disorder screaming in my head. Hopefully, The closer I get to God, the further away I will be from these torturous thoughts. Even on days when I am feeling "okay", even "happy".... I still have moments of hatred toward my body. Some days I just cry because I fear that It will never go away. That I will always look in the mirror and see only flaws. That forever I will  have moments when I hate being inside my body so much that I want to scream. When I can fully I think of my body as a artistic piece of work from my heavenly father, my life will be changed. I know recovery isn't perfect and that it takes time.... especially in regards to body image. But maybe just maybe this revelation can be my first step towards freedom. 


But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7


"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19


Love in Christ, 
Laura Katherine